I sure didn’t see this one coming. A reviewer named “CJ” gave me a one star review on Smashwords for my “A Guy’s Secret Guide to Fifty Shades of Grey.” CJ was “hoping for a recap of the sex scenes with the high-level details.” Excuse me? Did you even read the description of my book, or notice that it was under the categories of humor and parody? Wow. Maybe I should post a prominent warning on my cover: “Caution: Does Not Contain Explicit Sex. May be Suitable for Minors.”
Seriously, though, I will make an extra effort in my descriptions and ads to make sure people know this is a funny book, a humorous commentary, and not any sort of explicit detailed recap of the naughty bits. I don’t want to lose any potential customers who thought otherwise, or disappoint those looking for their porn fix.
Here’s something else: I automatically assumed that “CJ” must be a man. Who else would complain about not finding detailed sex scenes in my guide? But then again, women are the target audience of the real book. They are the ones all hot and bothered about it, so maybe some woman was hoping my guide cut out the boring and went straight to the bondage. Either way, I guess there’s a market for that kind of book, but I sure don’t want to write it!