50 Shades of Dumb?

I sure didn’t see this one coming. A reviewer named “CJ” gave me a one star review on Smashwords for my “A Guy’s Secret Guide to Fifty Shades of Grey.” CJ was “hoping for a recap of the sex scenes with the high-level details.” Excuse me? Did you even read the description of my book, or notice that it was under the categories of humor and parody? Wow. Maybe I should post a prominent warning on my cover: “Caution: Does Not Contain Explicit Sex. May be Suitable for Minors.”

Seriously, though, I will make an extra effort in my descriptions and ads to  make sure people know this is a funny book, a humorous commentary, and not any sort of explicit detailed recap of the naughty bits. I don’t want to lose any potential customers who thought otherwise, or disappoint those looking for their porn fix.

Here’s something else: I automatically assumed that “CJ” must be a man. Who else would complain about not finding detailed sex scenes in my guide? But then again, women are the target audience of the real book. They are the ones all hot and bothered about it, so maybe some woman was hoping my guide cut out the boring and went straight to the bondage. Either way, I guess there’s a market for that kind of book, but I sure don’t want to write it!

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3 Responses to 50 Shades of Dumb?

  1. Dulce says:

    Hi Tom,
    I read the first book of FS of Grey because I needed to know what was all the hype among my girlfriends. To my surprised I found it boring and terribly written although I am not a literarian (if that means something). I though I was the only one! Until I found your parody! So that will tell you that I loved YOURS! You said you don’t want to read the rests but please do it for those like me who might want to know what happened to the characters but without having to endure the boring, repetitive and annoying writing! I will prefer to buy yours, it was cheaper, shorter and it made me laugh! Couldnt agree more with you: “those are characters looking for a writer”, maybe when they do the movie they will do a better job, meanwhile please keep yours coming…..thank.you.very.much.

  2. Kia says:

    Dear Tom, I have read the 50 shades trilogy, and I loved them. However, it could be that I have been deprived, as other than the hunger games trilogy (which I also loved btw) I have not read any other fictional books, oh one more, Jeffrey Archer’s Kane & Able, which was also a great read. Anyway to the point, I would love to read your book “A Guy’s Secret Guide To 50 Shades” and also to buy it for a few of my fellow supporters, as a xmas pres., but I can only find it on kindle, (i do not have a kindle, nor do i want one, as i much prefer, to turn a paper leaf) so I presume it’s not available/published on paperback, if I’m wrong or there is any way I can get a hard copy… Would appreciate your help. (incase you have not guessed, I’m female!!)

    • Administrator says:

      Thank you for your interest in my book. At the moment it is only available as an eBook, but I’m working with a British publisher to put out a physical book in the next couple of weeks. (It would add 50 other humorous essays.)

      Check back to my website or blog for progress.